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tellittoreadersdigest:

one of my friends noticed a mosquito had landed on his bicep so he flexed and the rush of blood to his biceps muscle filled up the mosquito so much it exploded and to this day it’s one of the most badass things I’ve ever heard

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corgnelius:

When our vet walked in and saw him, she put him inside her coat and pretended to run out the door.
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